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Managing Anger and Aggression
Interactive Resource

Managing Anger and Aggression

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A Common Emotion

Everyone gets angry occasionally, and it can sometimes be difficult to handle or express anger appropriately. Because managing anger and aggression can be overwhelming, it can drive other emotional disorders. Trying to control anger by using alcohol or drugs can quickly become a serious problem. Other ways of coping with anger and frustration can also become unhealthy patterns that jeopardize your overall emotional health.

It is important to recognize emotions like anger, depression, and anxiety and to deal with them in an honest, direct, and healthy manner. This lesson will help you explore how blocked goals can stir up anger, the difference between anger and aggression, and practical tips for managing anger constructively.

Linking Anger to Selfishness

Anger is often rooted in selfishness. The message is: “I am not getting what I want, the way I want it, or when I want it. Now I’m upset!”

Selfishness can heighten frustration, especially when others seem slow, careless, or inconsiderate of your needs. Learning to reduce your sense of entitlement and reframe your expectations can help decrease reactivity and prevent destructive responses.

Understanding Blocked Goals

When people, circumstances, or situations block your goals—or even when you perceive your goals are blocked—you may become angry or even aggressive.

Examples of blocked goals:

  • Traffic was backed up for no good reason.
  • The boss made me come in early and stay late.
  • My phone keeps dropping calls.
  • Health insurance pays for nothing and costs a fortune.
  • My kids won’t listen to me.
  • The cop had it in for me. That ticket was unjustified.
  • Why is this checkout line moving so slowly?
  • Someone questioned my honesty.

Reflection:

Reflection: Think of a time your goal was blocked. How did you respond?

Anger vs. Aggression

Anger is a normal and natural human emotion. Aggression is an action that often stems from anger. You can be angry without being aggressive. How you handle your anger makes all the difference.

Aggressive Actions

Aggressive actions take many forms. Tap the ones you have commonly used:
Reflection: Which of these do you use most often to express your frustration and anger?
Where Do You Become Aggressive? Tap all that apply:
With Whom Are You Most Aggressive? Tap all that apply:

Emotional Triggers of Aggression

I am most aggressive when I feel… (tap all that apply):

Problematic Consequences of Anger and Aggression Assessment

Directions: For each consequence, rate how often you have experienced it because of anger or aggression.

1. Damaged relationships
2. Job loss or loss of promotion
3. Arrest or legal trouble
4. Increased conflict and arguments
5. Emotional damage to children
6. Ongoing resentment or bitterness
7. Increased drug or alcohol use
8. Financial or medical problems caused by aggression
9. Loss of trust or respect from others
10. Missed opportunities for growth or reconciliation

Scoring and Interpretation

Add up your total score across all 10 items.

  • 40–50 points: Severe consequences. Anger and aggression are having a major negative impact on your life. Structured strategies, support, and possibly professional help are needed.
  • 25–39 points: Moderate consequences. Anger is creating noticeable problems that require attention and consistent practice of healthier coping strategies.
  • 10–24 points: Fewer consequences. Anger is more manageable, but small issues may escalate if not addressed. Keep practicing new responses to strengthen resilience.

Techniques for Managing Anger

Managing anger without losing control or harming yourself or others is essential to healthy living. Here are strategies you can practice:
Reflection: Which three of these would be most helpful for you to put into practice right now?

Challenge Thoughts for Managing Anger

Read through the following coping thoughts. Tap the ones that will help you stay calm when anger arises:

Finding Serenity

The Serenity Prayer reminds us: “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.”

Anger often arises when we try to control what cannot be controlled. Learning acceptance helps reduce irritation and creates more joy and peace in life.

References

  • American Psychological Association. (2023). Control anger before it controls you. https://www.apa.org/topics/anger/control
  • Deffenbacher, J. L. (2011). Cognitive-behavioral conceptualization and treatment of anger. Cognitive and Behavioral Practice, 18(2), 212–221. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cbpra.2009.12.004
  • Lee, A. H., & DiGiuseppe, R. (2018). Anger and aggression treatments: A review of meta-analyses. Current Opinion in Psychology, 19, 65–74. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.copsyc.2017.04.004
  • Novaco, R. W. (2011). Anger dysregulation: Driver of violent offending. Journal of Forensic Psychiatry & Psychology, 22(5), 650–668. https://doi.org/10.1080/14789949.2011.617536

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