Do you ever have difficult weeks where every walk seems uphill, every stroke of the paddle is upstream, and every ride is against the…
A New Twist on Codependency Family members of people with substance use disorders are often referred to as co-dependent. They are warned of rescuing…
Someone else’s substance use disorder does not exist in isolation. Their addiction affects friends, family, and the community. Here is a list I use…
“People don’t resist change. They resist being changed.” – Peter Senge Making Changes I have spent my 30+ year career helping people change. Unfortunately,…
Wow. That’s Huge! If you hold a magnifying glass over an object, the item appears bigger. Obviously, the object isn’t any larger, it merely…
Anticipating enticing and tempting situations and carefully managing them is an essential skill in a successful recovery program. Some circumstances and situations should simply…
Looking for Approval Everyone needs encouragement and affirmation. Many people with co-occurring disorders desperately need encouragement on their recovery journey. For the downcast and…
A Robust Recovery To keep your recovery strong, there are numerous things you should not continue to do. There would be places and people…
Several years ago, while in a mental health intensive outpatient group, a client unpacked a whimsical truth: “If you learn to laugh at yourself,…
Someone recently told me to take some time off. For me, the daily grind has a way of piling up unimportant pieces and polluting…
Many who struggle with co-occurring depression and substance use disorders carry a mindset of negativity, pessimism, and hopelessness. This becomes one of the primary…
Treatment of co-occurring substance use and mental health disorders often involves using counseling and medication. Studies continue to reveal that using medication and counseling…
Years ago, I had a finger that began to throb. It turned pink and ugly and was highly sensitive to even the slightest bump.…
Many clients describe a constant avalanche of thoughts that rush into their minds. For those with substance use and mental health disorders there is…
When people are overwhelmed and frustrated, friends and family are often understanding and supportive, at least at first. Soon after, as some recovery progress…
I met a man the other day who was back in treatment again for the 15th time because of his methamphetamine disorder. After so…
“If you’re going through hell, keep going.” – Commonly Attributed to Winston Churchill When the decision to enter recovery is made, the addiction is…
I Can’t Decide When making decisions you might notice you are more unsure, insecure, and hesitant than you want to be. Being filled with…
Looking back over past behavior has some value, I suppose. The consequences of past behavior tell me I need to change, and hope tells…
What is Perfectionism? Perfectionists aspire to achieve, but do not allow themselves to make mistakes. They search for imperfections or weaknesses in themselves and…
I run mental health therapy and psychoeducation groups at a residential treatment center for men. From time to time I’ll take a $100 dollar…
Understanding Aggressive Behavior Being annoyed or frustrated is an experience common to us all. Anger, too, is a common emotion and it could be…
Negative thoughts influence your feelings and actions and can drive your addiction. Automatic negative thoughts (ANTs for short) are those deeply-held, and often repeated,…
“Burdens shared are easier to bear.” Jesse Jackson | By the time he was 13, Marcus had bounced in and through a dozen homes, if that’s what you called them, a pattern which was to continue throughout his 42 years. He was smoking...
“You were designed for accomplishment, engineered for success, and endowed with the seeds of greatness.” – Zig Ziglar | The seven wonders of the ancient world were astounding man-made displays of human ingenuity and creativity in engineering, art...
“Never, never, never give up!” – Winston Churchill | This blog is not about taking vitamins, I promise. However, I do take vitamins every morning and have done so for the past 10 years. I never miss, yet every now and then, I stare mindlessly...
“Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.” – J.K. Rowling | Ronnie celebrated his 40th birthday in jail a few weeks before entering the residential treatment program where I met him...
Over the years, I’ve noticed that people often want approval and affirmation. They want it, yet rarely receive it or believe it when it finally arrives. Jim would be an example of that. This 35-year-old man...
“You hit home runs not by chance but by preparation.” – Roger Maris | Do the thing you need to do or get yourself ready to do the thing you need to do. If you need to go to treatment, then go to treatment. If you need to finish school...
You’ve got to accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative, latch on to the affirmative, and don’t mess with Mister In-Between. – Johnny Mercer | “Ac-Cent-Tchu-Ate the Positive” was written by Johnny Mercer and the music...
“If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster.” – Clint Eastwood | This evening we’re celebrating my granddaughter’s seventh birthday. It will be a small family gathering at an outdoor amphitheater performance of...
“Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.” – George Bernard Shaw |The confusing influence of addiction is often referred to as “cunning, baffling, and powerful"...
“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” – Eleanor Roosevelt | People in recovery often have a distorted view of themselves. They may see themselves as inadequate and unacceptable. Some of this thinking...
“If you’re going through hell, keep going.” – Commonly Attributed to Winston Churchill | When the decision to enter recovery is made, the addiction is often out of control. Something has to change or nothing...
“The greatest gift of life is friendship, and I have received it.” – Hubert H. Humphrey | I am involved in several intensive outpatient programs (IOP) that provide treatment and support for those with serious or critical...
“I was going to buy a copy of “The Power of Positive Thinking,” and then I thought: what good would that do?” – Ronnie Shakes | Thoughts bombard us all day long like the steady stream of uninteresting commercial messages...
“Don’t give up at half time. Concentrate on winning the second half.” – Paul Bryant | In the sport of football, each game has four quarters with a 12 minute break between the two halves. This break has the not-so-clever, intuitively obvious...
There is an old proverb that says: “Don’t cast your pearls before swine.” I grew up on a small family farm in Minnesota in the 1960’s. We had the usual assortment of amusing farm animals including cows, chickens, horses, cats, dogs, and of course...
A man came into my office some years back and his abrasive interactions with his wife, in my presence, caused me to ponder the reasons behind his aggressive and painfully degrading verbal comments. Communication is purposeful; meaning...
As a psychologist and substance use counselor it would stand to reason that I should be concerned with the attitudes, dispositions, emotions, mindset, and memories that all flavor our actions. When I speak to people in our group programs, I am...
I gave a presentation on Codependency to a small group last Saturday. The event was held in an elegantly appointed retreat house hidden away. From the back of the room, leaning across a granite countertop, eyes shining and fixed attentively, a...
Substance-use and resulting substance use disorders (SUD) are hazardous to your health and come at a staggering cost. Individuals with a SUD have more social, medical, physical, psychological, financial, relational, and occupational problems...
My simple definition of burnout is doing too much, with too little, for too long. And burnout is not just a scheduling problem. Stress and burnout are often made significantly worse by bitterness and resentment. “I’m the only one who works...
In order to help your clients navigate successful, long-term recovery, we’ve developed ten core principles of recovery. Like using a map, these principles help set good goals, avoid some mistakes, and dodge unnecessary problems. And of course...
Have you been busy lately? Do you ever get so stressed you become overwhelmed or paralyzed? Stress is the biological, emotional, behavioral, and social response to a real or imagined event. When anxiety and stress are low, motivation and...
A few days ago it came up in conversation that I was going to do a workshop on living a balanced life. The woman laughed when she heard it. “You! That ought to be good.” The not-so-subtle sarcasm in her voice revealed her disbelief that I...
It is not always easy to be self-assured and confident. Many people move through life with numerous doubts and insecurities. You may doubt yourself, others, or the world around you. Perhaps you look at certain situations and certain people with...
I met a man the other day who had over 50 driving after revocation citations. He had been in jail 37 times. He told me that some of the incarcerations were short – only a day or two – and others were 30, 60 or 90 days. Because of his...
Euphoric recall is a term used to describe the tendency to remember only the positive parts of past experiences while forgetting or minimizing the negative aspects, consequences, or difficulties associated with the same event. The incredible...
I am writing this on New Year’s Day and thinking about some goals for next year. We often judge ourselves on our intentions and judge other people according to their actions. Meaning, we have a higher standard for other people than we usually...
When recently giving gifts to family and friends, I noticed that “one size fits all” rarely fits at all. In finding resources for your treatment center, one size, one shape, and one dimension to manage one disorder, I’ve discovered doesn’t fit either. The...
Substance use and mental health disorders often combine into a destructive disorder that rapidly intensifies. The illness is pervasive and mean-spirited. It appears intent on first capturing its victims and then killing its captives. Although the client is...
Thanksgiving Day is a national holiday in the United States and other countries, a day set aside to give thanks for the blessing of the harvest and of the preceding year. President George Washington proclaimed November 26, 1789 “as a day of...
