You Decide
Under ordinary circumstances you make your own decisions. You decide where you want to go, how you spend your money, and who you want to be with. You have some power and a lot of authority to determine what you will do with your time, your money, your relationships, your integrity, and your life. You are free to set your course based on your choices and preferences. And you choose to drink, smoke some weed, or use drugs.
Addiction Runs Your Life
It goes along like that for a while. For some people that carefree stage of making their own choices and their own decisions lasts for years. Slowly, however, the addiction gains strength. It begins to dictate its commands until it gains so much power that it dominates your choices. You acquiesce to its demands and become a slave to its wishes. Now, you must check with the addiction to see who you will hang out with, where you will go, or how you will spend your money. It is insistent and punishes you severely for attempts at independence and freedom. The addiction now dominates your will and runs your life.
Regaining Control
In this stage of addiction, people surrender friendships, opportunities, money, approval, self-esteem, and independence. They feel trapped and stuck; wanting to escape the addiction but helplessly caught in its grip. This is a despairing predicament, one that often drives people to seek help. As recovery unfolds you begin to get your life back. You plan for your life in recovery rather than make plans to get or use drugs or alcohol. Slowly over time your decision-making capacity increases. Having escaped the controlling force of the addiction, you have a say in your own life, able to exercise your own will. Remember though, that the addiction has been reluctantly unseated from the throne and defiantly looks to recapture power over your life. It will exploit every chance to trip you up and make you its slave again. Stay vigilant and aware of slippery slopes and enticing temptations. Don’t let down your guard. Use your power of choice to reestablish your independence and rebuild your life.
Recovery is a Journey. Enjoy the Ride!