I began a discussion yesterday about aggressive traits. Today I want to examine seven tips to reduce your aggressive attitude and actions. These ideas will be useful if you find yourself frequently upset, irritated over small things, and constantly frustrated by others. You can control yourself even when you feel defied or disrespected. Don’t excuse your own bad attitude or behavior even when you believe others are wrong and you are right. Consider the following suggestions.
Tips to Manage Your Aggressive Style
1. Seek to manage your mood, attitude, and disposition rather than fix, control, or manage the other person. Prioritize self-management above situation management.
2. Develop positive character traits such as honesty, respect, kindness, understanding, and patience. Watch for the tendency to excuse aggressive language or actions when you feel wronged, defied, or treated unfairly.
3. Observe your physiological reactions such as feeling flushed, hot, sweating, clenching your jaw or fist, or tightness in your muscles. Use these as signals to slow down, calm down, and take a step back.
4. Watch for behavioral indications you are getting aggressive such as swearing, name calling, complaining, making threatening gestures, and slamming doors.
5. Admit your side of the problem or argument rather than blaming situation, circumstances or other people for your bad reactions. Be willing to take responsibility for your attitudes and behavior.
6. Seek to understand the other person’s point of view, rather than communicating or repeating yours. Slow yourself down and listen more than you speak.
7. Seek to find win-win scenarios rather than pursuing winning the argument or proving your point. Choose to value the relationship over winning or being right.
With practice you can change your aggressive style. Work to increase your understanding and compassion toward others. Become a student of your own feelings and reactions, then seek to manage those feelings inside yourself rather than trying to control other people.
Recovery is a Journey. Enjoy the Ride!