When you lie, cheat, or deceive someone, trust is broken. The quality of the relationship is damaged and the way they see you going forward needs to be repaired. Rebuilding trust with someone is not just a decision to be made, it is a lifestyle change that requires consistent honesty with those you have hurt. Continued lying and cheating further weaken the foundation of your relationships. To rebuild trust, you must take full responsibility for your dishonest actions.
Understanding the Relational Rebuilding Process
Trust is restored when you value a relationship more than protecting yourself from rejection. Many people are willing to sacrifice honesty and hide behind a lie in a misguided attempt to maintain a relationship. Being dishonest can have devastating consequences and ruin newly built trust in moments.
Burning it Down
Consider a piece of fine furniture that takes 40 hours to construct. It would only take 40 minutes to burn that piece completely into ashes. It would take seconds to smash it beyond use. Trust is like that piece of furniture. It takes a long time to build but can be damaged or ruined very quickly.
Consistency Builds Trust
Rebuilding trust also takes considerable time. It would be unreasonable to think you could damage trust with someone and they would immediately put their faith in you again. Because you are the one who damaged the trust of another, the burden of rebuilding and re-establishing that trust falls on you. Trust equals behavior over time. Being dependable over a long period is a necessary starting point. Work to establish a new reputation built on honesty and integrity. Seek to live a transparent life without deception or secrets. Doing this will rapidly build trust and security in your relationships.
Recovery is a journey. Enjoy the ride!