“The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence” is an oft quoted statement. It implies that where we are and what we have does not look as satisfying as what lies just over the fence in someone else’s yard. Common in early recovery, we often inflate the quality of the life of others and devalue our own. We clearly remember our mistakes, relapses, and difficult circumstances while easily overlooking the blunders and faults of others.
Green Grass and Brown Ground
When you view the grass at a distance, you see the tops and sides of the blades. It all blends into a finely woven shining green carpet. When viewed at a distance, you cannot see the dead grass or the dirt that lies beneath. When you look straight down, the color and vibrancy of the grass between your feet is different. It looks spotty, browner and you easily notice the imperfections that were unseen across the yard. The grass isn’t greener, your perspective is different.
Seeing it Differently
Getting distance from your difficulties decreases the intensity of them. Endlessly scrutinizing your past mistakes does not resolve problems, it seems to magnify them. Putting your worries and concerns in perspective will help. Everyone has pain in life. Your situation is not unique. Even your most difficult setbacks are not insurmountable. Most of our troubles are ordinary parts of life that are common to just about everyone. Don’t magnify your problems and minimize your strengths. Instead, look straight at your strengths and put your troubles on the other side of the fence.
Recovery is a Journey. Enjoy the Ride!